“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Maya Angelou
How many times do we find ourselves giving someone yet another chance, even after they’ve shown us who they truly are? We cling to hope. We want so badly to believe they didn’t mean it, that it was just a bad day, that this time will be different.
But how many times is enough?
The truth is — every time we excuse bad behavior, we chip away at our own self-worth.
So we stayed.
We excuse.
We forgive without boundaries.
But here’s the truth most of us avoid:
Your loyalty won’t fix someone’s patterns.
Your love won’t rewrite their choices.
When someone shows you how they treat you, listen.
Listen, the first time.
Before your spirit is exhausted.
Before your trust is shredded.
Before your heart is a battlefield of hope and disappointment.
This isn’t about giving up on people.
It’s about honoring yourself.
It’s about recognizing that you deserve consistent respect, not occasional apologies.
You deserve safety, not confusion.
You deserve truth, not excuses.
The Cost of Giving Too Many Chances
It’s a beautiful trait to see the good in people. It speaks to your empathy and your heart. But when you continually give the benefit of the doubt to those who don’t deserve it — you teach them that your boundaries are flexible, that your forgiveness is guaranteed, and that your self-respect comes second to their comfort.
We all have limits. And when someone repeatedly crosses them, that’s not a mistake — it’s a pattern.
The Illusion of Change
We often tell ourselves:
- They didn’t mean to hurt me.
- They’re just going through something.
- Maybe if I’m more patient, they’ll finally get it.
But here’s the hard truth: People change when they want to, not when we want them to. You cannot love someone into being better for you. And it’s not your job to fix anyone at the expense of your own peace.
Protecting Your Peace Starts With You
These days, I’ve stopped giving excuses for people who have already shown me who they are — no matter what their reasoning is. If I need to burn that bridge to protect my peace and mental health, I will do so without hesitation.
Protecting your peace doesn’t mean becoming cold or shutting people out. It means recognizing patterns, trusting your intuition, and choosing yourself. It means realizing that your energy, time, and love are valuable — and not everyone deserves access to them.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is walk away.
Not out of anger. Not out of bitterness.
But out of self-love and the deep understanding that you deserve better.
Set Boundaries, or Set Yourself Free
When people consistently show you who they are — believe them.
When they consistently disregard your feelings — believe them.
When they apologize with words but not actions — believe them.
You don’t have to stay in spaces where your worth is questioned or minimized. Boundaries aren’t walls to keep others out —they’re fences to
protect what matters most: your peace, your heart, and your dignity.
“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your
worth.”
Self-love means being brave enough to stop making excuses for others and start choosing yourself.
Self-worth means understanding that no relationship — no matter how familiar or deep — is worth sacrificing your mental and emotional well-being.
Let them go.
Let them be who they are.
And let yourself rise.
