From Silent Wounds to Healing Words: A Journey Through Childhood and
Marital Abuse
For most of my life, I carried silent wounds — scars that no one could see but ones that shaped every part of who I was. I grew up in a household where love was conditional and affection was weaponized. What many would call a mother, I now understand was a deeply toxic and narcissistic figure — manipulative, emotionally abusive, and incapable of genuine care. For years, I believed I was the problem. I was taught to doubt myself before I ever learned to believe in myself.
And as life would have it, I unknowingly walked into another cycle of abuse — this time, through a long and painful marriage that mirrored the same dysfunction. I spent over four decades trapped in a web of control, emotional torment, and psychological manipulation. It was only later, much later, that I realized I had married a man much like the mother I was
trying to survive. The abuse had just taken a new form. Same poison. Different bottle.
Back then, no one spoke about narcissistic personality disorder. The words “toxic relationships” or “emotional abuse” were rarely mentioned —much less understood. What I experienced was normalized, hidden behind closed doors, and brushed off by society. It wasn’t until the last 10–15 years that awareness around narcissism, mental abuse, and trauma began to
emerge. Only recently have psychologists, trauma-informed therapists, and mental health advocates started shedding light on the behaviors and patterns many of us have lived with in silence for decades.
Through their work — and by God’s grace — I began to understand. I began to heal.
Healing doesn’t come all at once. It is not linear. It comes in waves — some days strong and empowering, and some days tender and raw. But with every piece I’ve understood, with every truth I’ve faced, I’ve reclaimed more and more of the person I was always meant to be.
One scripture that carried me through many dark nights is this:
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18
Those words reminded me that I was never truly alone — even when no one believed me, even when I did not understand what was happening to me, even when I doubted my own voice. God was always near. He saw it all and He never stopped calling me out of the shadows, gently guiding me toward the light.
Today, I share not from a place of bitterness, but from a place of clarity and courage. I write these words not for pity, but with purpose — because I know there are others still living in confusion, in pain, in shame that does not belong to them.
To those still in the storm, please hear this:
It is not your fault.
You did not cause the abuse.
You do not have to stay in it.
And you are not alone.
If my story can help even one person recognize the pattern, name the abuse, and take a step toward healing — then all the years I’ve endured will not have been in vain.
This is not just my survival story. It is my resurrection. And it is my prayer that your healing will begin too — even if it’s just with a whisper:
“I deserve better.”
You do.
🕊 Let’s Connect
If you are a survivor of childhood trauma, marital abuse, or have experienced toxic and narcissistic relationships, I welcome you to share your story with me. Whether you are still finding your voice or already walking the path of healing, you are not alone.
Please feel free to reach out to me through the Contact Me page, or leave a comment below if you feel safe to do so. This space was created for people like you — people who are learning to live, rise, and heal beyond the hurt.
Together, we heal. Together, we remember who we truly are
